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my doubts fade away

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I'll sail the world to find you

Monday, July 09, 2007 @ 1:12 PM


i am home early today! woah.. finally get a chance to relax and blog some random stuff.

school was hectic last week. cos i went for all my lectures!! *mouth open wide* yes! tan yan bing went for all her lectures despite gg for POM lecture ALONE! yes. i repeat, ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!! nightmare!!!! can u imagine, sitting at the back of the lecture hall alone! no no no no no! but i did it!!! talk to my abt peer pressure. no way! its really discipline and i was really tempted to not go for POM which also happens to be my last lecture of the week on friday when my junhui msged me saying she injured for ankle and wont be gg for lecture.. i was at home sleeping my ass off... i was like... OMG! i DONT WANT TO GO LECTURE ALONE! but i didnt want to back out on what i promised to myself and also, to God and jeff. thats why i went despite of everything. i feel so proud of myself for that! i know to alot of students and people, gg for all lectures is nothing to them, but it means alot to me!

i also came to realise one thing as i went for all my lectures.. that there will always be temptation when it comes to the last round of finishing the something. like my POM lecture.. i was actually sleeping at home when junhui told me she injured her ankle.. my normal lazy self would have just said, then dont go lah.. you will be turning up alone(cos all my classmates went to crash another lecture except junhui).. and a thousand and one excuses came into my mind.. like how i will be wasting money by gg down for lecture and all.. but i told myself this, "i already silently promised myself i will go for all lectures no matter what and i promised God i will climb up the education mountain and be that kingdom motivated, kingdom minded christian at the top of that mountian" then i crucified my flesh and got up of my bed and went to school.. to me, this is what i call words put into action. so many times, i have seen many christians, able to shout in church, "God i give my life to you!" "all that i have is yours!" "i will be that light that shines!" but when monday comes... its another totally different story. many think that shining for God is easy. they think what they have said to God, "all that i have is yours" is simple.. but my friends, they arent. think again, telling God all that i have is yours.. ALL THAT YOU HAVE! that includes your money, your reputation, your fun, your girl/boyfriend, your everything!! that needs ALOT of crucifying of your flesh! that needs ALOT of strength. ALOT of courage. walking the talk takes a great deal of effort. it doesnt come naturally. if u think it will, IT WONT. if you think by just praying, you can be the light that shines, NO WAY! like what the bible says, faith without works is DEAD! no amount of prayer will change your life unless you make an decision and EFFORT to.

this is my core revelation of this week. tml is a brand new week! i had stepped out of my comfort zone, now its time for some consistency to take place.

have a great week!